I decided that on my other blog I really do a pretty good job explaining each point, no real need to double talk it. So instead I have started to work on a new project, a paper I hope will help my settle out myself. So here is the first part, hope you enjoy it and I hope to get some good feed back (will take bad as well I suppose).
Conflict Within
By Kenneth J. Kaiser
When fighting with yourself the only thing guaranteed is that you will lose. The problem for me though is that I just seem unable to stop myself from battling myself. Most of the fights I have with myself revolve around one thing, politics. Anyone who knows me knows that I base the way I see people, the world in general, and moral guides on politics. First you have to understand that politics is not just two old white guys fussing at each other in some grand marble dome. It’s much more than that; it is possibly the most important thing in the world, more so than religion, as even politics has infected religion, and thus religion is now a part of politics. Politics is not universal which is why so many people fight over it. Some say religion has caused the most death in the world, they would be wrong as its not on top; politics is at the heart of everything.
Politics matter, no matter how much you hate it, it matters because it is the politics of those in power that will control you, and your kids, forever and decide how much that control is. Even anarchists have politics. So what’s the problem? Why can’t I stop arguing with myself? Well it’s because my view of the world and thus politics are at conflict with its self. I pride myself on being a logical person, usually, and so throughout my young life I have done things that some may think bad, in the political since that is. You see I wanted to understand what the different points of view are throughout the multiple spectrums of thought of politics. First was communism and socialism, both nether really appealed to me, as they both give way to much power to those in power while claiming to give it to the people, and that is just way to dumb for me to buy into. Luckily I have a set of core beliefs; one happens to be that the more you are given, the more can be taken from you. So in communist/socialism where so much is given to you, it’s a bad thing as then the government can turn around and take all of it too. Next was National Socialism, or Nazis, this one I spent some time on as it was interesting to me that it based its view of everything on race and blood. But it also had its faults; once again too much power given in this case to a single person, not to mention that I couldn’t get into the idea that race, not a person’s actions, made that person what they are. Not to mention I want to help all of my fellow citizens, not kill them in mass.
Then I started to study Fascism, which really got me going. I read the original doctrine writing by Mussolini and even wrote a paper defending the idea of it, not the actions of it in a paper I titled “Am I a Fascist?” for one of my college English classes, I got an A by the way. I stayed with Fascism for a long time, really absorbing it, but in the end I came to the conclusion that Fascism worked in Italy (in the early years that is, before Mussolini became Hitler’s buddy and went all Nazi like) was because it was “Italian” meaning that it was created by an Italian, and formatted in a way that fit Italy. So I set out to create something I called a “Fascist Republic” that would be more American, but that didn’t work out like I wanted so I dropped it whole Fascist thing and created the American National Citizen Party Doctrine, a ten point doctrine that came pretty much from scratch out my head, although I will admit it was still influenced by my Fascist Republic ideals in some very limited ways.
I was happy with that believing that I had finally settled on a political belief that fit my morals and world view. Then I heard about Ron Paul and his ideas of a libertarian, constitutionist, and republican style of government. Now I found myself agreeing with him, even though some aspects of his views were at contract with my own, for instance he wants the federal government to be smaller and really do nothing, while the states ruled on their own in most of the ways, while I wanted a smaller but stronger federal government that did quite a lot, and the states were more secondary. Now anyone who has a basic understanding of politics and the views that come with them knows that the libertarian way of things is almost in direct conflict with a fascist way of doing things. And so this is where I really started to become conflicted with myself, within myself. It’s like a mind war, and I have no idea which side I want to win.
Let me give you examples of one of these inner skirmishes I have with myself are;
Fascist Republic – “Not everyone is meant to lead, so it makes no since to allow anyone who’s a good sales person to lead, we need some kind of restrictions on who becomes a leader, like perhaps military service.”
Libertarian Republican – “Ok but why shouldn’t we at least give everyone a chance to lead; they might be a diamond in the ruff kind of person. Also didn’t Hitler serve in the military and then was elected, so why is only allowing those who serve in the military a good “restriction” on those who could become national leaders?”
Fascist Republic – “Exactly, Hitler was elected, so what makes you think that elections held where any dope who buys into the crap a mad man sells should even be allowed to vote? Also may I remind you that was Germany in the 1930’s not America in the 2000’s, also keep in mind that Ron Paul your hero, gets most of the support from the military and he also served in the military! So it looks like our Military guys have a good head on em, unlike the rest of the people who are just going along with the corrupt main stream candidates. If I had my way it looks like people like Ron Paul would be in power, not people like George Bush.”
Libertarian Republican – “Right and it looks like the military people are supporting a libertarian, not a fascist, so it looks like the people you support and would like to vote and run this nation instead would rather have a more free and open nation. Also we have plenty of none military supporting us, so what about these people who are smart enough to see past the bs of the other politicians, should they not be allowed to vote? Also you are not in the military now are you?”
Fascist Republic – “No, but we both know that is the goal, and even still I will at least be in the police, they do count, the good ones that is. Maybe they are doing that because they don’t really have anyone that holds the views I do running for president, I mean after all you can’t compare me to the sorry bunch that are running, truth is I like Ron Paul in some ways, but his just to weak in some areas. And I really am not a “Fascist” in the way of Mussolini, and you know it, which is why I dropped 99% of its ideals almost a year ago. Also without some kind of massive and drastic change that I would provide, what is to stop America from sliding back into the mess we are in now once Ron Paul is finished being president, assuming most of the people are even smart enough to vote for him. Keep in mind that he wants us to go back to our constitutional roots, but just like before, what is to keep us from just sliding back like we have done?”
Crazy huh, but these are really the kinds of fights that I have going on within myself, not exactly, I mean I don’t give them names and such, I just did that for you the reader to help you understand. It’s not really a multiple personality disorder it’s not as if I am two people in one body, not at all, I guess it’s more that I have strong beliefs that just happened to counter each other in some ways. So why am I writing this paper, I don’t know I guess I hope that while writing this I will have a revelation or something and maybe just maybe I will find what I am looking for and can finally find a view that I can get behind and call my own, and the see if its receptive, after all one day I would like to be in public office.
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Thats all I have for now...
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